WORKING MOM VS STAY AT HOME MOM

The debate that either sides will always dispute. If you work full time does that mean you love your children less or staying at home you must have all the time in the world? For both sides as mothers we know how difficult, busy and chaotic it can be to raise children. There is no right or wrong way how anyone choose to raise their children! As woman we are already fighting for equality in male dominating careers. No matter what your choices having support for our fellow mothers would definitely makes things easier.

I have full time working moms friends, although they love their children, they love their work and careers as well. Speaking to a mom, currently pregnant with a one year old baby she said being away from her baby allows her to be a better mother, and to be a rolemodel to her daughter. Time apart allows her to gain perspective. Spending most of her young adult life to gain professional qualifications and experience would be hard on anyone to give it all up! Yes definitely if you are the mom that would like to work. Working  is rewarding, stimulating but every opportunity she get, her time is devoted to her baby and husband. That does not make her family less important? Definitely NOT!!

*Jane is a stay at home taking care of her almost one year old son. She gets to enjoy all the new milestones and be there unconditionally but the downside of having no adult interaction for days can be daunting. She knows her son best as she  spend 24/7 with him, she knows his mind and prides herself in making him feel secure. She feels being at home give her better understanding any medical needs he might have. “Sometimes working mom’s does not know their baby well as they spend less time with their children and tend to depend more on doctors. Sometimes it’s not necessary to see the Dr first and giving medicine hastily.” Being a full time mom is  hard work and allowing herself time to relax and take “me time”  makes makes all the difference.

No mom needs to get judged as to whether she stays at home or to go back to work. Both sides sometimes feel guilty at times, not being their for their kids school recital;  or for not contributing financially to the household. We feel guilty for what you know is right for your situation for your family.

Honestly for most of us you don’t really know what kind of mother you will be until you are knee deep in it!

I am a hairstylist and not so long ago I had the same inner debate with myself Getting motivated as a stay at home mom. Do I go back to work or stay at home?  With twins and the future education and all general expenses we definitely can use a second income. I work part-time, being a freelance hairdresser I get time away from the boys and to interact with my clients or friends but I also have time to be around when they need me. It is great, but it does not give me financial freedom, although I have the opportunity and the freedom to work around my children. For each scenario there will be an advantage and a disadvantage. No clear cut solution, the only thing that will make it work is your attitude.

Most of us worked before we became mothers, we were professionally, financially and socially independent. I remember a couple of years back when I sold my salon to move to a different country with my than fiancé, I felt overwhelmed to be completely dependent on him. To ask for money for things that you need can be depressing.

I started working once we settled down and we did have the talk about our finances and I felt secure and relaxed after.  Being a mother now I feel the need to be here for my children but to also in my own small way contribute financially to my household.

We have one common aim to love and care for our children. A lot of times Moms do not have the choice for the situation they are in.  We do not know their circumstances! BE KIND! DON’T JUDGE!

Love

Jacqui💕

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All things Braedan Kgosi Hamilton

My first born by three minutes. The day my boys were born, the nurses took away my glasses and as blind as a bat, I could not see my babies being wiped and checked right after they came out though C-section. Braedan as tiny as he was had some mega lungs on him.

We did IVF with this pregnancy and my ultimate moment was when I saw the Dr replace the first embryo. I saw this tiniest dot moving along to find it’s home. Mind blowing.

Second super moment was when we saw the first little bump of the heart beat…. now imagine all my happy moments times two!

Braedan arrived at 3:45, 1.35kg and stayed in NICU for 10 weeks, he gave the nurses a run for their money. He cried so much and always needed attention. He was always hungry but could only tolerate small amounts of milk until his digestive system was strong. We had so much up and downs with him, but he is a true fighter.

I remember the first time we had our kangaroo bonding moment. This tiny body filled with tubes tugged between my breasts. We have found each other’s heart rhythm. Lost in priceless moments.

Braedan started to sit on his own at 6 months, crawling at 8 months and started to walk at 10 months. Fearless he didn’t care if he got hurt. He was so determined to reach his goals.

His first word was “Oh dear” after he dropped his toy on his foot. Omg, the cutest thing to hear! Now at 1 year and 5 months his vocabulary has improved do much. Next words was “All done; No,No,no; dog; woof; shoes; car; yum yum and Peppa Pig, he touch his head when we ask him where his hair is. There is honestly no stopping this clever dude.

He is obsessed with planes. Whenever there is a noice up on the air he points his finger up and turn his face to look. He loves feeding this village Koi carp fish. Trying to throw them bread pieces, but they always seem to just all around his feet or end up in his own mouth.

Braedan is a very affectionate guy. Always ready to give hugs and he likes to have his hand rest on his brother arm when they sitting or playing.

He is also a mischievous monkey. With a twinkle in his eyes he always check how far he can push boundaries. He sometimes use his head to bang Lachlan from behind. He does not have much patience and likes to take Lachlans toys away.

His got the cutest smile and his arms are wide open running towards me when I arrive home. He loves to walk around bare bottoms, so we don’t let him around with only his nappy because he always takes it off, wee on the floor than go ahead and play in it!

He loves the outdoors and our afternoon walks, he likes turning around in circles, make clicking sounds with his tongue and blowing bubbles with his spit.

He loves splashing in water and love trying out new food, his favorite is broccoli and spaghetti Bolognese. He only likes a dummy with a bigger sucking tube give him the wrong one and we will be on our hands and knees looking under the bed and couches for his favorite one.

This handsome guy loves people and is very friendly making him an all time favorite around town.

Mama love you so much little guy. You a true blessing

Love

Mama 💕

Self reflection

Hello dear readers

What inspires me, I ask myself this question often.

What fulfil me?

What motivates me?

How am I inspiring others…

Challenging questions when you think of them as we do not often think of ourselves in this way when you have a career, family and obligations that takes priority.

I am a hairstylist and as a creative person how do I make a difference in someone’s life?

Sometimes I think it needs be mind blowing events, but in reality a smile to a stranger can made all the difference their their life.

I remember while shopping one day someone complimented the necklace I had I my basket, she like to so much that she got one too. Did I inspire her, did she inspire me? YES! This piece of object have a happy moment attached to it. Two strangers had a connection that moment.

Bright pink in colour it brings a smile on my face everytime i wear it, and I always get compliments for it and i hope this lady has the same feeling.

We are nearing the end of the year and taking audits of our lives and achievements is common this time. I am looking at myself to see what I have learned, experienced, loved and what motivated and inspired me in 2017.

Love

Jacqui 💕